Technically, I am waiting with the phone, as my cell phone is portable, so I don't have to sit by it, but I can bring it with me everywhere I go.
Yesterday, I had my third interview for a teaching position this summer. The first was in April, and I received a rejection letter by mail in early May. The second was nearly three weeks ago (see Confession #19), and after being told I was one of the top 3 candidates and waiting in suspense for two and a half weeks, the principal of the school let me off gently this Saturday with a flattering email about how well qualified I am, but offering his condolences because he selected another candidate.
Yesterday, I interviewed for a position at a school that I would love to work at. It is close to home, and better yet, close to my hospital and doctor's office, which is exceptionally important as I am now four and a half months pregnant. I really want this job. Not just because of its proximity, but because it is a really good school. Student performance is on the higher side, and the North Carolina teacher survey results prove that most staff members feel that it is a great place to work and teach. Thus, in anxious anticipation, I have been keeping my phone very near to me, pretty much since I got home after the interview yesterday afternoon.
What happens if I don't get this job? I don't even want to think about it. I know, deep within myself, that what I want or think is best for me isn't always what I should have or what is actually best for me. I know that God's plan is bigger and his scope is vaster than my own, and even when things don't work out the way I want them to, I have to trust He is in control and is working things out for my good. But, I would be lying if I said I won't cry or be disappointed if I incur another rejection. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like throwing in the towel in my job search if this one doesn't work out.
I really, really, really want my phone to ring!
