So, I think I might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I have never been diagnosed...I am working on that in my own way, but below is a poem I call "OCD," as it portrays the feelings and thoughts I deal with, which seem, to me, to be Obsessive Compulsive thoughts...so how is that for a confession?
My thoughts are on a twisted journey,
Weaving a web of juxtaposed images;
Forming bonds of endless frustration
That torment my mind in the day and at night.
These thoughts harass all that is pure within me,
Pointing their fingers and laughing hysterically.
I am aware these intruders are on a fierce journey;
They hasten through canyons developing in me,
To chip at my joy and increase the frustration
Caused by fears and doubt in my mind. Hysterically
I cry as the juxtaposed images
Gallop across my mind at night.
I obsess and obsess of what could be; hysterically,
I assume the physician's role to analyze the images,
Hovering, as a summer storm cloud does hover at night.
Oh how I wish I could take a long journey
From the anxiety building and taunting me;
The tumult of the cyclone incites frustration.
Peace only comes while I sleep in the night
When my dreams create clear images
That ward off the frustration.
Captains, they sail and serenade me;
Billowing waves press forward on this journey,
As flocking seagulls cacaw and cacaw hysterically.
I see these thoughts for what they are, images
Conceived by the marriage of lies and frustration
At the sound of a thump or a bump in the night.
They have taken me on an anxious journey,
To find out what sources of fear lie within me;
What has caused me to dwell on such thoughts so hysterically?
My spider-thoughts, with their venom, hysterically
Jeer and leer in my mind in the night;
They prey on my hope and spin lies within me--
I fight them with all of my might in frustration;
I long for the peace of hopeful images,
Akin to those marketing an exotic journey.
My thoughts are on a beaten journey,
Hysterically battering the frustration in me;
Constructing a pyramid of haunting images.
